Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Focus and Become the Zombie.

So much to do!

I have been eating a lot more and I hope my weight is still climbing, but my usual 5 therapies a day (supposed to be 9) didn't happen in the last 48 hours. To be honest, I haven't done a single med since yesterday. Ugh and I can tell.  I could list a million reasons why, but bottom line I always find something else to do. Something that I can convince myself is more important, which is followed by my brain saying "its okay, I will get back on track tomorrow." I know it is normal to struggle some days (or for a few days in this case) to do them all. But it doesn't make it any better and it shouldn't become my excuse.

Tomorrow I work 10:30am-2pm, I AM going to get up at 7:30 do all 4 nebulizers before work and I will do my 2 afternoon nebs between 2-3pm. I will be out of town from 3-11pm. Honestly, I probably won't don't my night meds, since I will be tired and have to work morning and evening shift friday. However, friday night I'm going for dinner after work with a friend and Saturday after my lunch shift I'm going to my old college town for a Christmas Party. I'll get to see some friends then too! I will be packing my meds for that trip though!

I found myself thinking today  "It's okay, once Christmas is over I can get back on track". Wow, Christmas isn't until tues... I was giving myself an okay to no do them for 5 days. That's not acceptable.  I once had a conversation with a friend about how sometimes its almost like zombie like... wake up ,meds, eat, work ,meds, class, meds, hang out with friends, hmwk, meds, night feeding, sleep, repeat. repeat. I do meds as often as some addicted to facebook may spend on facebook. But I if I become a zombie focused on meds, then my health will go up. So as she says "Be the Zombie, Get the Dream!" I can do it, I can get back on track. Oh and my dream is 75% lung function ( I will shoot for higher when I obtain my 75%, not IF but WHEN)

Maybe tomorrow I should become a zombie? I think I pull it off, right?

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