Tuesday, February 16, 2016

6 Months of Marriage

Our Story :

Andrew and I met in a show choir. I graduated from the University of Illinois in 2010 and decided to return to the local community college to take a few courses, before jumping into graduate school. I wanted to be a social worker at a medical facility, and also have my real estate license. Andrew had graduated with his culinary degree, but decided working in a restaurant wasn't exactly what he wanted. So he decided to return to the community college and find a new path...

(picture on right, from November 2012, school field trip with friends- Conklin's Barn Dinner Theatre.)

We met in August of 2012, that fall, at the 1st show choir practice. He was really sweet and nice, but I wasn't really looking to date anyone. I had been engaged in the past (2009), then followed that relationship up with 2 bad relationships. But Andrew had different plans for me.

He was sweet and asked about my CF. In fact, he had told me he was following my blog. So I knew he understood about my CF and life. When he asked me to be his girlfriend. I think I said something like "I'd love to, but I always struggle healthwise trying to balance my life and having a boyfriend" He promised we would make it work.

I think because of my CF, we faced a lot of hardships a lot quicker than most. In the two years we dated before we got engaged we had faced: 4 surgeries, 4 rounds in the hospital on IVs (one where Docs were honestly concerned about my life), a family member passing away, my best fiend passing away (along with 2 other friends), moving 2 times, 2 big insurance battles, and countless oral antibiotics.

(Picture to left: Before my triple hernia surgery)

When one person has CF or any life threatening disease, the other individual has to think about how that will affect them. Some can not handle it, but Andrew always admired me for the way I handle CF (and loved me more for my strength). He saw me so sick, unable to speak, I passed out infront of him, I threw up on him. Not only that, but I was struggling emotionally, as I watched my best friend try so hard to get new lungs, but she only got sicker as time went on. I watched her struggle for 2 years and Andrew was right by my side, hugging me. Before we got too serious, I had to have "The Talk" with him. As I did with every boyfriend. He had to be aware that I was unable to have children and that because CF is expensive, we could probably never afford to do surrogacy or even adopt. He said it didn't matter to him. We discussed early on about my CF and "life expectancy." We talked about some intense topics, marriage, children, death, hospitals, being a single parent, etc. I didn't want to fall in love with him and him not be able to handle CF and him leave me. Or worse I leave him because I knew he couldn't handle it. Both had happened in the past and I couldn't go through it again. So we were forced to talk about big topics very early on, this just made our relationship grow stronger and move faster.

We my not have had time to get to date, not in the normal sense. We hardly ever went out to eat or to the movies in the 1st year. I had two part time jobs and had a full course load at school. Plus, he had a part time job, full time student, and we both did extra circulars. But, we found time whenever we could and spent as much time together as possible. Between classes, before or after practice, before school, etc. In between activities, he would come to my apartment, or I would go to his place... I would usually do my medical treatments and we would watch a tv show, or just hang out. This is what our dating pretty much consisted of until we moved to Chicago together (9 months into the relationship). From that point on, we both knew we would get married. It was just a matter of timing. When we could afford it and when it would be best for us.

The first year of dating went by fast, and each year tends to feel even faster, so we try to enjoy every single moment! These last 6 months have flown by (to read about our wedding, click here), but I am so fortunate to have such an amazing husband! I can't wait to see what the next 6 months have in store for us!

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